He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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