Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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