btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think im going to throw up on grandma
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
