u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
