Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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