Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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