i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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