I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize