He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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