i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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