I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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