It's like God shit irony all over that family
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
