he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
