He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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