theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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