no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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