just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Come on in and take your pants off
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