careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
