I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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