Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
