I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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