So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
