Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

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(607): View more from New York

I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...

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(334): View more from Alabama

You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.

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(614): View more from Ohio

we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"

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(765): View more from Indiana

Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town

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