i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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