You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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