It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
