If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize