Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
