I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
