It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
