so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
