so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
