About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
