I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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