I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
