One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
there is glitter all over my balls
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
