i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I will be naked everywhere
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
