One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize