I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
