Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We're too hungover to prance.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
