RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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