How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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