Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
