I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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