I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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