is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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