If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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