And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Randomize
