kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I want a musical about memes.
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