let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
