2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
