Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
