thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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