Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i drank out of a bidet.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
