And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
