he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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