Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize