why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
