I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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