The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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