My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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