TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
