I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
