So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
