I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
