I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
