he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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