we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I see more hoeing in ur future
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