Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
