Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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