I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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