so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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