So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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