Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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